T + 1

Still no baby. I’m not answering the phone and when I do, that’s what I say.

“Enjoy these last days” says one voice of mine. “Ha! Give me my body back so I can sleep somewhere besides my side and walk like a normal person!” says another.

“Mama mama! Do you still have a baby brother/sister in your belly?” asks my daughter as she hugs my belly. “Wow! Look how big your belly is! Here, I’ll get it out for you.” She lifts my shirt and pulls the creature out from my belly button, delicately opening her palm for me to see. I thank her and kiss her beautiful hands.

Due Date

Today is the due date for my second child. My daughter, almost 4, is off at a birthday party. My midwives left a little while ago. There are some lovely ladies cleaning my house while I hideout in our basement. I have resigned to being so pregnant that even balancing this laptop is a puzzle: I have managed to an awkward belly/pillow setup.

I cannot walk or get on the floor to play 3 bears.

I cannot sleep because my belly has become a weighty appendage and hormones think production time is 24/7.

I have resigned to eating cookies on the couch while watching x-file reruns.

I no longer care that my belly is full of dark purple stretch marks and pointed towards the floor.

It’s all about me right now. At least as much as I can make it be.